Homosexuality and Mayonnaise
Q: WILL EATING MAYONNAISE MAKE ME GAY?
A: There is robust scientific disagreement about whether mayonnaise causes gayness. While most experts, based on decades of data and exhaustive modeling, believe the answer is no, a small percentage believes that it does. And since these groups represent different opinions we are required to give them both equal time.
The "no homo" camp cites as evidence the fact that people have been eating mayonnaise for decades and while the rate of mayonnaise consumption has skyrocketed (22lbs per person per year), the rate of homosexuality has remained stable (except for the people who were turned gay by exposure to gay themes in movies, which made them choose the lifestyle voluntarily).
The "it makes you gay" camp claims that it must make you gay because mayonnaise vaguely resembles semen, and if a man eats it, it's sort of like him eating cum.
So since there's no consensus, the best thing to do is to leave it up to politicians to decide which claim is true.
A: There is robust scientific disagreement about whether mayonnaise causes gayness. While most experts, based on decades of data and exhaustive modeling, believe the answer is no, a small percentage believes that it does. And since these groups represent different opinions we are required to give them both equal time.
The "no homo" camp cites as evidence the fact that people have been eating mayonnaise for decades and while the rate of mayonnaise consumption has skyrocketed (22lbs per person per year), the rate of homosexuality has remained stable (except for the people who were turned gay by exposure to gay themes in movies, which made them choose the lifestyle voluntarily).
The "it makes you gay" camp claims that it must make you gay because mayonnaise vaguely resembles semen, and if a man eats it, it's sort of like him eating cum.
So since there's no consensus, the best thing to do is to leave it up to politicians to decide which claim is true.
Comments
Post a Comment